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Beginner's Lucklife is in the journey, not the destination 7月6日 Lancaster.. Lancaster.. Lancaster......Dreamt of going back to Lancaster, again... I was walking along the town center and checking every single shop along the street - everything seemed to be so crystal clear. I then woke up, lying in bed eyes wide open in the dark, with the image of the shops and streets getting vaguer and vaguer in front of me. I desperately tried to think hard, and all little pieces of memories started to come back...
A colleague went on a trip to UK last month. Hearing her stories brought me back to that unforgettable year in that fascinating small town. Can't remember how many times in my dreams I went back to the Lancs Uni for another year of postgraduate study, a lot of times I woke out of fear worrying about the tuition fee though. My colleague travelled to all the famous tourism cities of course, London, Cambridge, Oxford, Bath, Edinburgh... But what has been bothering to appear in all my dreams have always been that small town, and every piece of memory touches the softest part of my heart...
Water Witch, Revolution, Sugarhouse, Liquid, Toast, (a lot of pubs and bars... I know...), Chancellor's Wharf and The Canal, KFC, Sainsbury's, The Lancaster River, Waterstone's... and every single corner of the Lancs Uni...
1月19日 LIFE IS BACKWARDSWisdom of George Carlin
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get in the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the way. You wake up in a an old age home, feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party and you get ready for High School. You go to Primary School, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm! Amen!
12月10日 a few things I likechocolate (truffles, with caramel, with rum & raisin, Mars Bar, Milky Way, Quality Street, Toblerone Honey & Almond Nougat, Ritter Sports, etc.), Cheese cakes (original flavor), Ice-cream (vanilla flavor in particular), Cookies (with raisin, soft baked, or anything rich in butter), Belgim Waffle (hot with thick layer of chocolate sauce), Trifle (with rich custard & ladyfingers), Tiramisu, Jelly Belly, Honey Bee cereals...
pumpkin soup (thick and smooth), pizza (with extra cheese), mashed potato (or simply potato in any form), rich gravy, russian bortsch (with cream or milk), pasta (with tuna & a lot of cheese powder), Spanish raw ham...
cocktails (Tequila Sunrise, Sex on the Beach, Margarita, Mai Tai, White Russian, etc.), The Rocks / Old Fashioned Glass, Bacardi Breezer, Baileys, chilled classic red wines...
11月30日 I will follow you into the darkA song that made me cry like a baby... If Hell decides to take me, will you follow me into the dark?
I Will Follow You Into The Dark
by Death Cab For Cutie
Love of mine someday you will die
But I will be close behind
I will follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
*If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark*
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
**
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms
**
Then I'll follow you into the dark
11月28日 Why Women Cry So Easilyby Anonymous
A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."
Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"
God said:
"When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."
"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."
10月15日 Forgive and ForgetBeen asked a few times by a few friends why I dislike Japan. And every time they all seemed to be puzzled at my simple answer "history reasons". "Come on, even if it was a horrible thing that they had done, it's in the past. Why can't we simply forgive and forget?" Right, let me tell you what and why we can't forgive and forget.
First of all to make it correct, I don't think there is any mistake on earth that cannot be forgiven. What cannot be forgiven is the shameless deny of the history and their ridiculous great efforts on covering it up. People say it has something to do with "national pride" or whatever. That's pure rubbish. I can't seehow denying some solid proven brutal massacres and invasion in a neighboring country right next door while mocking up a fairy tale version in the school history book adds any pride. The only explanation is that this nation has no shame nor regret. We are not only after an apology, but also their commitment on not letting history repeat in future. By all means we will have to get it at the end of the day.
No one wants to forget about it and move on more than we do. It's not some cheerful memories after all. And remembering how weak and hopeless we used to be, how this land had once been insulted, tortured and torn into pieces gives us more humiliation than pride for sure. But why we choose not to let go of it - or in more precise words - we don't have a choice but to take this not-to-forget as an obligation? We owe this to the 20 million Chinese died in the war and we owe this to ourselves. Memories last for as long as we remain victims.
Japan's constant efforts on denying the history truth constantly remind us the fact that we have someone right next door who has never given up the vicious craving for conquering us. What we also have to bear in mind is that this nation is intelligent, disciplined, hard-working, yet arrogant, vile and cruel. They had been all these in the past and may very well be the same now and in future.
Even now the Japanese government never stopped worshiping the war criminals every year, and dosn't matter how much it hurts the feelings of people in the neighbouring countries, they are not bothered to care. This nation is like this, they can loose, they can be killed, but to ask them confess and appologize? - No Way. They are just twisted this much. I would understand if some people argue that it's just the government, the people are victims too they are innocent and are manipulated by the government... craps like that. I understand it 'cause that's the last thing they can grab to be a lousy excuse. Well wake up, it's not that Japanese people are fooled by the government. They have all means of hearing the truth. Those little cowards simply choose not to accept and admit.
We must realize the fact that even now China is still weak and it indulges Japan to continue playing their tricks, which adds insult to injury. See what the U.S. government has been doing after the 911. Not saying we should do exactly the same but we are not doing enough for sure. There must be something can be done to at least get them confess and apologize. 60 years ago it took two nuclear bombs to make Japan stop the war. A lot of us still believe to some extent it served them right – it taught them a lesson that the brutal invasion has a price to pay. Maybe in the next 60 years from now we need to find out what it takes to teach them another lesson – once you made a mistake, doesn't matter how long ago it was, an apology is always requested whatsoever. Sounds an old cliché but still – this is not to advocate hatred and revenge but to shout out loud for justice and a future of peace.
Forgive and forget only applies to those who love peace. But unfortunately in the case of China and Japan, we are not on the same page - and maybe we'll never be. So for one day Japan's attitude towards history remains the same, for one day don't blame me for showing disgust over them; for one day don't blame me – when friends talking about how great Japan is and how bright and decent their people are – for sneering at it "Well you mean those Japs?".
8月21日 long time!Have I not logged on all this time? Jez..
Well good thing is that I kinda feel I tend to write more when I'm emotionally lonely or sad, suffering, struggling or in tough situations. When I'm doing great I simply become too lazy to write anything. In this case, checking those Archived records in blank I know that's when my life was in good peace and joy. It only worries me though, at the end of the day there might be only moans and groans left in this space... Nooo!
There are good times & tough times that we have to go through. There are times when life is full of joy, full of pressure, full of choices or full of doubts. And sometimes it's like you are in a battle, you fight all your way through with this hope of one day being able to sit and enjoy the triumph, but only to find out that eventually you loose the ability to stop. And there gone the ability to satisfy and enjoy.
I'm sometimes jealous of Curt, he has this little lay back attitute of life and it makes himself perfectly happy in his own little world. Contrarily I'm not a peaceful person at all, high maintenance and won't settle for an easy life. Not that I don't want to but I just can't help. Maybe 'coz sometimes the Aries characteristics control me.. I get really exited and passionate about certain things and fight full energy go full steam for it. And poor Curt is often dragged around to catch up with my pace, reluctantly and sadly. But when my initial enthusiasm fades away I start to have tons of doubts over it all. It's annoying... Just when I'm driven crazy and about to give it all up, I'll have to count on Curt to stand out and back me, "Let's deal with it. No worries everything will be fine." I know.. I also wonder how he managed to handle me. He must've been crazy to have chosen me.
But I think the two of us might very well make great business partners. I fight for the start and he makes it sustain. Doubt if he agrees though.
12月26日 that's a good one- "Why me?" I asked Curt.
- "I think you help me a lot with my career."
...
Honey, I don't know if you are being completely honest or totally an idiot. Or if you were just trying to joke over my silly question, that was a good one.
12月22日 when a kid finds out that Santa isn't real..- Mommy mommy, isn't he!! :'(
- Do i still get the Christmas gifts then? (- Yes of course, my dear.)
- :)
... But mommy, i still want Santa back...
Wish the adult world were just as simple. But adults know that they shouldn't have believed in Santa in the first place.
Little things i like about myself (+):
- smart in some ways
- tough in some ways
- passionate about certain things
- impassive about certain things
- sensitive most of the time
- sophisticated most of the time
Little things i don't like about myself (-):
- smart but can do stupid things quite often
- tough but never tough enough
- passionate but sometimes end up making myself a fool
- impassive but can never make it from inside out
- sensitive but hate to be sensitive
- sophisticated but couldn't resist the inner fears
Little things i like in general (+):
- lying at the beach, warm and satisfied, read a book or simply do nothing
- bury myself into the softest duvay and sleep like a baby - spoil myself with chocolate and ice-cream- being spoiled by someone i love - know for sure that "i can do it"- the world of two
- being trusted
- to be well-off
- a firm aim
- canoodling
Little things i don't like in general (-):
- pain
- not able to let things go
- not able to let things out
- not able to control my emotions
- sleepless nights and sleepy days
- feeling cold and helpless and lonely - panic, have no idea where things are going
- weiredly overwhelmed and hopelessly vulnerable
...
- to find out that Santa isn't real...
Dear God, i promise to be a good kid. I've struggled and stumbled all the way here, please don't put me through this all over again. 11月13日 we don't give it a sh*tThere are always times when you are offering friends a favor but ended up feeling ridiculous and sometimes, feeling like asking for insult. It may have nothing to do with your friends, but is because of their remarkably stupid friend. I belive many of us have met jerks like this - rude, cocky, ego-maniac, impudent, childish and irritating stupid, who enjoys downplaying and insulting others to gain attention or to impress girls. They may well feel themselves being funny and spotlighted and maybe sometime surrounded and admired by girls, but I'm afraid they actually make themselves nothing but an acid stupid-ass. And unfortunately, many of us will have to deal with them.
I won't be surprised if guys of such kind remain single, they absolutely deserve being dumped. I never imagined myself ever had a chance meeting any annoying jerks of this type, but it happened yesterday. I felt stupid and shameful just by walking with this guy in the group, and I felt even more stupid and shameful to let such a (excuse me for my language) prick spoil my day, in which I should have had been truely happy for my best mate's wedding. I've heard people claim they'd rather be stupid and kind than smart and a jerk, unfortunately however, this guy is a perfect combination of stupid and a jerk.. Knowing him for just one single day already made me sick. Please, if you don't know how to shut up when it's not your turn to be the center of attention, at least show some respect to yourself! Anyways, when me and Curt were offended, I didn't blow it out to his face, this is a manner that I keep for myself. And also for the sake of the fact that I am as good a friend to this girl as this prick to her husband. This is someone completely unworth talking to after all, I told myself, we just don't give it a sh*t.
Luckily I don't have friends like this. At the end of the day, it's just some obnoxious (excuse me again) dumb stupid-F*ing-ass that I need to deal with in only one day of my long life.
10月25日 Moments & MemoriesHaving a boyfriend who can never pick a tie that goes with the shirt without me.
Checking pictures i drew and articles i wrote at elementary school and giggle sillily.
Being crazy about something (like the guitar) for a short while and then give it up only to prove my dad was right, "told you!".
Having boyfriend cuddle me from the back, resting comfortablly in his arms and wish time could stop there.
Snuggling to a teddy bear on the couch and wishing he were boyfriend.
Snuggling to boyfriend on the couch and wishing he were a teddy bear.
Recieving a gift where the delivery fee is greater than the gift itself.
Keeps nodding in a conversation but being actually absent minded. Asking an insightful question to pretend i'm listening only to realise the answer was just given half minute ago.
Looking at the sleeping face beside me and feeling truely happy.
Suffering from serious stomachache for a whole night and peel myself off the bed at 5am to go to the E&A.
Embarrassing a friend by picking up the tissue he just randomly threw away in the street and put it into the trash bin.
Going home late at night, having the cap driver watch me walking all the way into my house only to make sure i get in safe.
Running out of red wine and using grape juice instead to make meatballs which ended up weirdly sweet.
Working at KFC 12pm-8pm and on my postgraduate dissertation 11pm-7am for a week.
Walking down the incredibly romantic Lancaster canal at 3am and got chased by a swan.
Face painting 6 people including myself, all squeezing into one car and drive around to scare friends at New Year Eve.
Hating someone but being able to get myself out of the mood after a while because realised... even though there are so many assholes in the world, life is still fabulous. How could i be arsed to stay unhappy?
Knowing that there are at least 3 people in the world spoil me and will never do anything to hurt me.
Knowing that there are at least 3 people in the world I love and will do anything to make them happy.
Hanging out with a great friend for months but only realised we have the same birthday just before i was about to leave the country for good.
Last night of homestay in Brisbane, in bed with the little girl dog Ebony and with the big one, Tash, sleeping under the bed snoring the whole night through.
Listening to one song over and over for almost 100 times and crying like a baby.
Getting to understand that sometimes it's more important to be kind than to be right.
9月27日 In search of sucessWhat success means to you is dependent on upon your age. At age 4 success is ... not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is ... having friends. At age 18 success is ... having a drivers license. At age 35 success is ... having money. At age 50 success is ... having money. At age 70 success is ... having a drivers license. At age 75 success is ... having friends. At age 80 success is ... not peeing in your pants. 8月31日 to cover up the cheesiness...Let me quickly publish a new entry as I've received a few complaints about the previous one too cheesy... i have no comments...
Was trying to recall since when did i start to believe in cheesiness, like sweet talks and flowers. I was joking with Curt the night before this Chinses Valentine's Day that i wanted a bunch of flowers. Sure he didn't really buy one the next day, but to my great great surprise, as the late afternoon approching and after sneakingly checked the reception several times, i started being overwhelmed by disappointments... what's going on with me? Jez, it's almost the first time, if not the only time, in my life that i'm actually feeling down for not being able to recieve a bunch of tacky flowers on a cliche valentine's day. Since when had i started to reply on those cheesy romance to remind myself that i'm in love? Or is it that since always had i been looking for some sort of security?
Looking back 2 years, i used to be romance-intolerant, and i used to be cynical and sarcastic with those couples who live by cheesiness, which i defined as icky and artifical. A friend of mine thought i was hopeless, yet he still made huge efforts educating me. he tried to convince me that a little cheesiness in a relationship is always helpful. He even taught me how to spell out with arms the word "Cheesy--", something like touching your shoulders and then stretching your arms to the air (like in the song Y.M.C.A.)... it was fun.
There is this girl in my office that have just got married, sweet and being in love like a pretty doll. i went to her wedding and witted her husband's vow, "i may not be able to make her the most wealthy one, but i will absolutely do anything at my power to make her the happiest girl in the world!". I was touched, and suddenly realised that this sort of cheesy vow no longer freaks me out anymore...
It may well be those little moments in my life that have changed me over time to where i am today. And friends, have left the indelible handprints on my life, whether intended or accidental. I feel grateful. "As I go, I am wearing them..."
Right... so much for that. I read this joke on a webpage the other day. okay guys, have a good laugh and stop picking on my cheesiness.
After The Coma
Billy Bob's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she woke up and saw that she was no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replied, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are just fine." "After all this time," she said, "do they have names?" "Yes ma'am," the doctor replied. "Your brother came in and named them." The woman thought to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asked the doctor, "Well, what did he name them?" "The girl is Denise," said the doctor. The new mother said, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise." Then she asked, "What's the boy's name?" "Denephew." |
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